What is your SHU?

Acronym SHU stands for  Scoville's Heat Units. It is the measure of pungency of chillies. Just to let you know,  Bhoot Jolokia of Assam is one of the hottest chilies in the world. It's SHU value is so high(1,041,427)  that it is used in hand grenades by Indian Army. This piece of General Knowledge made it's way into my data bank today morning only through one of the FM channels of radio.

Now that I have got my new found knowledge and I am feeling enlightened, I think SHU is quite underutilized as a measure.Why can't human tongue(read opinions and voice) be measured on SHU . Well I know there are people who would be zero on Scoville's scale (just like Bell Pepper) as their talks are always saccharine laden ;). Personally I don't have much liking for this type.I myself have got quite an acerbic tongue and as you know birds of same feathers flock together so I need not explain my affinity explicitly. If only sharpness of tongue can be measured in SHU mine would be somewhere 10000. This is purely self assessment and value may vary with third party assessment ;).  Don't be boggled by huge number because I have taken  base unit as 1000.I am assuming that everyone has somewhat acerbic tongue. Fair assumption, Isn't it?

Based on these assumptions and limitations, took a shot at making  SHU table for our near dear ones , the table might look like this(Please note that the saccharine laden tongues are out of scope of this computation.)

Disclaimer: This table is work of pure fiction. Any resemblance to living or dead is purely coincidental 

There is an age old adage in Hindi  " तीर से निकला कमान और मुँह से निक्ला  वचन  वापिस नहीं आता" . The purport of this adage is that one should take care of acerbic tongue because once spoken can not be undone. That is quite true but that should not be over  interpreted. Giving respect to people is fine but as per my view we really need to get acerbic too if situation demands. Don't you know too much of sugar causes diabetes !

What do you say? Anyway how do you rate yourself on Scoville's scale ?

Euphemism...the way of life

According to dictionary definition of Euphemism - The substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.

Just wondering what all euphemisms we use in our day today life. Nature's call, bun in oven, passed away, differently abled are few of the euphemisms which we come across. There are many more like these. There is a lot available in our story books, newspapers, magazines and in our daily conversations.

My objective is not to talk about these common euphemisms. I am just trying to mention few which are actually totally opposite of what we mean :). I came across a very apt quotation for that - "Euphemisms are pleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne". Examples of such usage are -

• " I am unwell, won't come to office"  actually means "Boss , I just don't want to see your face today" !
• "I will put my best foot forward " means  "Damn it Why should I spend my energy in this freaking work"
• "You are so cuddly" is "OMG you are so fat !!"
• "You look different" does mean  "You looking awful"
• "Can I please call you later" may mean "Stop bothering me and calling me.
• "You know so much" may mean "Would you mind shutting up your Google engine"

These were the few I could think from top of my head. I know there are many more nasty ones lurking around you. Keep adding if they are shareable ;).

Fashion Faux Pas

Have you ever wondered if the dresses worn by super models can actually fit lesser mortals like us. These super thin super models sashay on ramps exhibiting the dresses. The effect of dresses and the aura of smartness created by these models entices us but outrageous prices for these pieces do not fit in budget of many of us  therefore we end up buying stuff which looks more or less the same as original. Needless to say that in our pursuit of emulating them, realization dawns on us that the same effects are not observed on lesser mortals like us. I have this weird feeling that the clothes are stitched with models in it else how can clothes be so fitting !! The top which looks superb on super model takes a nasty turn by giving the glimpses of muffin-top on us!

People tend to wear clothes which are as per current trend but not as per their comfort. For me fashion is what I feel comfortable in but I do take care of that I do not look outrageously out of place among other trend savvy people. When it comes to fashion, I am not very experimental. In fact I have a very conservative sense of dressing. I think my style has been same since ages. I am agnostic to the fashion trends and I have started feeling that markets do not offer enough for people like me. I am sure people might say that I am committing  fashion Faux Pas. I appreciate that but I think  fashion should be a very personal thing. When I say personal, I mean fashion should be something which a person can carry off with comfort and panache. True fashion is the style what adds to one's self confidence. Isn't that?

As long as I am at peace with myself, I am ok to stick to my age old style. By the way what is your style? Are you also trapped in some one style since ages just like me :)

Billing - Sun kissed Hill and a Lone Tea Stall

Billing Hill Top 

Billing in Himachal Pradesh is the world renowned place for paragliding. Words can not do enough justice to describe it's beauty. One can either trek the route or can just use vehicle. The height increases from 1350 m to 2400 m in a route of 14 km. The road has been cut through the dense forest. The road is quite narrow with lots of hairpin bends and blind curves. One gets to see beautiful views of valley. One has to be experienced enough to drive through this road. My intent of this post is not writing about Billing because one can find a lot of literature available on net for this picturesque place. Nevertheless few pictures for your eyes.

Hill in the Evening Hues

Beautiful View from Top

View of Valley from Trail

View of Forest

More than a place I was so impressed by a lone shop owner aka Chachu ji. The lone shop is known as Chachu Tea Stall and is on the top of hill. The owner is here 12 months a year and lives in a complete solitude with no human population in vicinity.It can have pretty harsh winters. The water supply reached this place in 2013 only !! There is still no electricity and the source of energy is few solar panels. These too were given by Government in 2013 only. He lives alone in his hut cum shop and is a one man army ! Quite an interesting fellow with plenty of stories about place and paragliding. Such an optimist and effervescent fellow. I saw few polythene bags filled with water hanging from roof. He told that once a team from discovery channel was visiting and they gave this advice to get rid of houseflies and this works!

Chachu Tea stall



Remedy for Houseflies

The Man Himself

His positive outlook compelled me to think that city dwellers like me have so many facilities at our hands but whenever it comes to complaining about life , nobody can beat us.He never overcharges unlike other places I have visited where inaccessibility adds an additional price to commodities or food items.He made best ever Maggi and we were so tired and hungry that it was like a panacea for us.

 Joy of eating maggi in such a serene and calm place in sun kissed mountain is heavenly. For me slurping hot maggi in rains and under clouds is always a high point of any visit to hill.Call it childish but somehow I just relate so much to Maggi and mountains. I think people who have visited Himalayan lower hills will agree with me.

People can do day trip to Billing and enjoy tandem rides for paragliding. I do not have heart to do paragliding :(. Adventurous people can do camping here itself . For rest they can park themselves in Colonels Retreat which is down there in valley and just go for a day trip to Billing and can slurp tasty Maggi made by Chachu Ji.

Vacation Aftermath

With everbody going on vacation I thought of penning down this piece. I guess people like me take vacations quite serioulsy. As we embark on vacation , we tend to send all the pressure inducing things on holidays. Pressure inducing things like office work, dieting and ofcourse conscious eating. Just like we have term called Comfort eating which I will discuss some other time, we should also coin one more term - "Vacation eating". For us vacation time is the time of indulgence. We get in auto pilot mode and devour whatever we get offered or whatever pleases our eyes.

 Things become worse if you happen to be taking vacation where your umpteen relatives are staying. You can't say no to the food  you are offerend number of times at number of  relatives' houses you visit. There are three reasons for not refusing - one is that you just don't care as you have sent all your diet plans on vacations . Secondly you do not want to be rude to people who have prepared food with so such an effort.Third and final is your own greed :). Only a crazy person would say no to the food which stimulates your taste buds.

The word guilty which never shows it's presence during holidays just emerges miraculously once they are over! Even if you deny the verdict given by your mirror but that benchmark dress which you have hidden in one of the corners of your wardrobe would just refuse to fit you.After a days of denial , finally the bitter truth that along with many free deals during holiday there is one more freebie got  which we had not asked for but did quite religiously work for(through ruthless eating). The measure of freebie is not the dollars saved but the pounds gained !

Now that the truth you have gained pounds as well as courage to accept that, people like us do our annual duty of going to gym for renewing our memberships. We are the most profitable customers for gym owners because we pay but we are so sensitive to their equipment that we use them seldom to save them from deprciation ! All the gym owners, if you see less depriciation in your balance sheets , you guys should come personally to us and say a big thanks .

Yes you have guessed it right , I am going tomorrow to renew my membership ;). Anyone in this league ....do let me know. It will give me some respite that I am not the only one :)

Mirror Image Woes

It is said that mirror is the true reflection of oneself and it never lies. Do not forget to discount convex, concave and other mirrors which make your reflection quite grotesque.

Mirror holds a very important and indispensable place in a woman's life. A lady has mirrors in all forms and sizes which can fit right in their purses to walls. I remember having a lone long wall mirror in my hostel and the way we girls used to hover around this prized asset was nothing less than a riot situation. The innumerable trysts which we make with mirrors on daily basis should not be taken as form of Narcissism. This phrase is reserved for Men who hobnob with mirrors quite often ;). It is just that our frequent rendezvous takes burden from our boyfriends or husbands. Imagine if mirrors had not existed we would have asked these poor souls only - "How am I looking?". And that would be infinite times a day!! Guys should really be thankful for the mere existence of their saviors.

The science of "Reflection in plain mirror" is quite interesting. One of the characteristics of reflection in plain mirror - "The image distance always equals the object distance. The size of the image is the same as the object (the mirror does not magnify the image). "

This is the universal characteristic since the time physics as a subject has existed in our schools. I love everything about this rule except for that little thing which is there in brackets :). How unkind of the scientist who etched this rule. Did he not think about the touchy and sensitive people like us before putting this caveat!!How desperately we would have wanted him to append this humble line mentioning that mirror magnifies the image. It was just a matter of altering a rule a bit and It would have made a world happier place.Atleast we would been  have under this impression that we are much slimmer and trimmer than what mirror is actually reflecting.I don't know about others but this feeling would really have given me some kick.

If only I had time machine I could have advised the scientist a bit :) . Alas thats no the case so just forgive the scientist for now and try to adjust with his folllies!

Sartorial Syndrome

Clothes clothes everywhere but not a one to wear !

 Sounds familiar? Yes I can imagine many people(read female population) nodding their heads in unison. Now don't start treating this statement as discrimintaion against fair sex. I would not do that to my own population. Nevertehless nowadays one has to be very aware of what one is saying or writing. For all of female population who think that I am exhibiting some discrimination by pointing them out , I offer my apologies with full heart. For ladies who are taking this in stride, I have my gratitude for them.

 

 I would like to call this common feeling of  dearth of clothes even if we are sitting on heap of clothes as "Sartorial Syndrome". Though this is 24x7 syndrome but the effects of this can be seen more explicitly in following situations-

• Party invitation from friend
• Wedding party
• Formal party of office
• Onset of vacations
• Birthdays
• Anniversaries
• Dates
• etcetra etcetra

I have just realised that I am getting into the never ending list so decided to put the magic word etcetra at the end. Please feel free to interpret this "etcetra" as per your situation.

 

I too have been sufferer of this syndrome since the time I don't even remember. This syndrome is not genetic in nature but highly contagious and solely depends upon external factors. The only proven treatment(temporary) for this is  immediate buying of clothes. Some scientific and logical people call this as impulse buying too. Well I would refrain from using this phrase. There is a simple reason for this - impulse is which happens with in a second ! Lo and behold...does our shopping end in minutes?I would give an award to any one who can prove that ladies can close shopping so quickly. Please be aware that I want complete evidence in order to give this award.

 

If people think that buying has done some cure, they are highly mistaken. Real woes start after getting the proud buy at home and then trying it, looking into mirror from hundred different angles and finally giving the verdict that the dress is not suiting or not good enough for body type !

 

Anyhow after multiple iterations , one dress comes at home and ofcourse it is used for the occasion. Now can anyone guess what happens after that.....

 

Yes , you are correct....it goes back into the heap and syndrome strikes back!